MARRIAGE
COVENANT -A HEAVENLY REALITY.
In this decisive moment where marriage and
family life is being challenged and threatened, it is important that we restate
exactly what marriage is. What
constitutes marriage? And why it is so crucial to begin again to learn why
marriage is a covenant between a male and a female. Unless this happens then all other types of
“marriage” become possible. Just as some
wish to redefine marriage to incorporate various combinations so those who
believe marriage to be a covenant need to fight to reclaim and teach what is
the true nature of marriage. To this end
understanding what is a covenant? What
is a contract? And what is the difference between the two and how this
difference is the essence of a true marriage.
Whilst it is important to enter into
the fray to vigorously defend marriage via the legal system, political or even
secular system, this is not the most important weapon for fighting this demonic
attack against the future of humanity.
It is important, but not the most
important. Entering into the fray using
the legal/secular system to win is almost a guarantee of losing, because the
legal system seeks secular justice and not moral justice, and on a natural
plane, justice demands that all, including those who have desires which are
intrinsically wrong, are accorded this justice. On the natural plane all things become
possible as long as it appears that a good is being countenanced. We
need to fight on our terms. That is, defending of God’s honour and justice, and defending God’s idea of morality. Unless this is done we may win minor
scuffles, or even public debates, but the agenda for the destruction of
marriage, family, life, remains in place.
To this end let us begin anew and relearn and rebuild what we understand
to be an eternal covenant.
So what is a covenant and why is it
important to see marriage as a covenant?
A secular
understanding of the term “covenant” suggests that it is an agreement, with
certain stipulations, which must be met by the covenant parties. The reduction of the term “covenant” to such
an understanding can and does cheat mankind of an understanding of “covenant”
as something more than contract.
The covenant idea is central to our knowledge of God and Scripture.
While our society uses the terms
“covenant” and “contract” interchangeably, the differences
between them are profound. With a contract what is exchanged are “things”
whereas with covenant what is
exchanged is “essence of self”.
Contracts exchange the material. Covenants
exchange the essence of the human being.
D.J. McCarthy defines covenant, “ as
a means by which the ancient world took to extend relationships beyond the
natural unity of blood”. To be related
by blood means a familial relationship.
However, to extend this type of relationship, it is done via means of a
covenant. Indeed covenant is a type of familial bond based on an oath. The Hebrew word for covenant berit means to “bind” or to “fetter” and
in its etymology the word means to bind together by blood.(Lv 1:5e) There is sacredness to the relationship,
which is related by blood or by
extension, by covenant, because these relationships cannot be broken as the
individuals are “fettered.”
God’s word in scripture is based on
a series of covenants. Indeed we see how important the covenant idea is to God,
and how very much He is involved in the covenants which He establishes with His
people. Through the covenants and under this symbol,
God “binds” or ties Himself to the human family. The relationship is sacred because it is
based on God’s “binding” love for His family (Ps 100, 145, 150, 1Jn 4:7). We can understand the covenants and the
importance of them by looking at the progression of the covenant structures and
how they “grew” from the first ever-made covenant which was a marriage covenant
(Adam and Eve), followed by family covenant (Noah). A tribal covenant (Abraham). National covenant (Moses). Kingdom covenant (David), and finally the
definitive overarching universal covenant with Jesus His Son. Over time, God instituted covenants and
designed them so as to incorporate larger and larger dimensions of humankind
until finally the definitive covenant with Jesus is made. The new family begun by the new Adam
(Jesus). Through the covenants God established
the means by which imperceptibly, He expanded and extended His relationship
until the time when His unique and ultimate relationship in and through Jesus
is fulfilled and sealed in and through the new covenant.
To think of “covenant” it is also
important to think about the concept of “oath.” These two terms appear
interchangeably. (Ez 16:59, 17:13,16,18, Lk.1: 73, Mal 2: 14-17, Ps 105:8-9).
There is an oath sworn when a covenant is made.
It is the oath, which unites
individuals in a lifelong “fettered” covenantal relationship. It is a promise of faithfulness in and to the
relationship. The words “I will” spoken
by the covenanting couple, (marriage) or
by God, (to His people) “you are my people and I will be your God,” (Ez.
31:31) are the pledge of fidelity, “or sacred oath sworn by the
faithful love with which Christ loves His Church and sanctifies her through His
sacrificial love.” It is the love of God which is the bonding
and binding agent which will reside within the covenanted parties in order to
give strength and perseverance when it is required.
St. Augustine also understood St. Paul’s word “mysterion” to mean Sacramentum or “oath” which Jesus Christ
swore for and on behalf of His bride. As
Adam had failed to protect his bride (Eve) and therefore not loving her into
eternal life, so Jesus’ Sacramentum (oath) for an on behalf of His bride was that He would remain faithful to
her until the end of time. (Mt: 28:20).
Fidelity to the Sacramentum (oath)
ensured a re imaging of the bride into a reflection of the groom. “The Sacramentum of marriage was
therefore not only a sacred sign of a divine reality but it was also a sacred
bond between a husband and wife.” The covenant, Sacramentum, because
of its divine origin, could not be rendered empty or barren. The covenant Sacramentum was until death and could not be
dissolved, because it took on the character of family bond (chain, fetter) and
therefore unbreakable. Just as Jesus’
fidelity toward His bride is until death or until the “end of time” so too is
the bond between a covenanted married couple, (male/female) unto “the end of
time” (Mt. 28:20) and “Until death us do part” (marriage oath).
Marriage was not always understood
as a sacrament imbued with sacred properties, but it has been clearly
understood from the beginning that marriage, was in the desires and designs of
God. From the very beginning, marriage, relationship, and procreation was not
cursed (Gn1-3) These were blessed and remained blessed. God blessed marriage, with a special
blessing which makes clear its goodness “as proof of His blessing, receive from
God, children who crowd about the family table.” Herein lies the difficulty with the newly
sought-after redefinitions of marriage (same gender marriages) they cannot
receive blessing from God because children cannot legitimately be awaited as a
fruit of that blessing. Children cannot
crowd around the table because the relationship by the nature of the couple is
inherently barren, illicit and fruitless.
Redefinitions cannot be blessed irrespective of how much or how many or
how devoted are the desires or even the intentions of those calling for them.
“Human marriage finds its eternal and proper
reality, in the bridal relationship of God with His people.”
. With Jesus and His Bride. (male and female).
Perhaps in the mysterious nature of covenant, it may be possible to see
why marriage is both indissoluble and between a man and a woman. It is marital relationship unto death. It is
a relationship of fecundity. It is steadfastness in the face of
infidelity. The character of marriage covenant is one of fecundity,
fidelity and steadfastness. Any one of these elements missing then
renders the marriage covenant dissolvable and therefore not a fulfilled
covenant.. Fecundity in a same gender
marriage is decidedly impossible and therefore the union becomes not a covenant
marriage, but instead a contracted association where goods and services, or
even a friendship might be exchanged, but cannot be the two selves donating
their essence to each other and creating of a new “other” because of the
exchange. A friendship yes…marriage no.
Jewish progressive understanding of
their relationship to God was seen imaged “ not from human marriage to divine
covenant but from divine covenant to human marriage.” So in Old Testament times the Hebrew people
“gradually discovered an explicit place for marriage in the religious scheme of
life.” Marriage for the Hebrew people gradually
acquired a dimension of sacredness because a new meaning was read into the
relationship between Yahweh and His people and Yahweh’s character, that is
faithfulness, self-giving and steadfast love. “I have loved you with an
everlasting love; therefore, I have continued my faithfulness to you” (Jer 31:3
cf. Ez 16:63: Is 54:7-8). The prophets
Hosea, Ezekiel, Jeremiah, Malachi turned frequently to the image of marriage
“marriage became, as it were, a mirror in which something of God’s love was
seen as reflected.”
The idea of covenant relationship is
continued in the New Testament. The new covenant entered into by God and His
people is facilitated through God’s own Son Jesus Christ and His redeeming
action on Calvary. Through His death and
resurrection Jesus established the new covenant in which He unites Himself to
His people (1 Cor 11:25). His blood
sealed the covenant and fulfilled all the stipulations set out, “just as Moses
sealed the Old Covenant in blood, from animals offered as “peace offerings”
Old Testament covenants, whilst
initiated by God Himself, always involved human responses and therefore
temporary. The New Testament espousal,
between God and humankind has been accomplished by Jesus Christ and is
eternal. This covenant, and the
relationship between the covenants partners Jesus and His bride, the Church, is
assured because of His words “I am with you always” (Mt. 28:20). The new
covenant may be seen in the context of the “great mystery” of God’s mighty acts
in and through Jesus Christ and His mystical body the church.”
The new covenant of Jesus Christ is
realized, actualized and consummated within His new creation. In union with His spouse the Church they give
birth to children for God’s Kingdom.
Children who have looked to the family and whose parents (Jesus and His
bride the Church) can rest in the eternal Sabbath (sign of covenant).
To understand covenants it must
first be understood that covenants are not only what God “does” with human
persons but also “what” God is. God’s
promises are kept because He is the promise itself and for humankind the
promise was redemption through His own design and using what He had originally
made, that is, the highest of His creation, the human person. The history of covenants is the timeline of
salvation and each new covenant took into account expansion of what He had made
until finally in Jesus, He Himself, becomes what He has made, in order to
fulfill His own promise to redeem. In Old Testament dispensation Yahweh God
slowly emerged as the “Bridegroom” a symbol of divine fidelity unlike Adam (infidelity). In the New Testament it is Jesus who is the
“bridegroom.” Jesus is the ultimate
symbol of “bridegroom” because He is both the divine and the human bridegroom
par excellence. Jesus loves His “bride.”
In death He gave birth to her, (Church) and with utmost fidelity He loves
her. Unlike Adam of old He dies for His
bride in order to give birth to her and unlike Adam of old He “binds” Himself
to her in faithfulness, and fruitfulness “in this sacrifice there is
entirely revealed that plan which God has imprinted on the humanity of man and
woman since their creation.”
The Catechism of the Catholic Church has this to say, “The entire
Christian life bears the mark of the spousal love of Christ and the
Church. Already Baptism, the entry into
the People of God is a nuptial mystery; it is so to speak, the Eucharist. Christian Marriage in its turn becomes an
efficacious sign, the sacrament of the covenant of Christ and the Church. Since it signifies and communicates grace,
marriage between baptized persons is a true sacrament of the New Covenant.” (CCC 1617)
Indeed it can truly be called a sacrament of the new covenant because it is a
sacrament of persons in love with one another. The covenant of marriage is a covenant
preserved by one clause – love, faithfulness and endurance and this model
of love is based upon the love of Christ (bridegroom) for His very own bride. “It is the model and pattern of all human
love.”
The late Blessed Holy Father, John Paul II has
seen marriage as the restoration of the “primordial sacrament” the perfect
harmony of the “covenant” in creation in Eden-
a covenant with God and between man and woman.
In the covenant of grace and election, God choosing us and espousing
Himself to us. St. Paul in Ephesians revealed marriage as the
“sacrament of redemption.” By Baptism men and women, are drawn through
marriage, into the eternal spousal covenant of Christ. Matrimony is the sacrament of the new
covenant because it is the sacrament of the great “mystery” (Eph 5:32) of Jesus
Christ and His Church.
Relationships,
according to St. Paul,
had to be lived in the Lord, the way Christ gave Himself in love to His bride
the Church, and the Church received and submitted with the same love. So too, human marriage was to have those
same characteristics. Donation in
love is the supreme understanding.
Covenant love, both old and new, is underpinned by unhindered “donation”
of self in a dimension of divine love. Total, free, fruitful loving donation of self, is the
mystery of love, because it is a reflection of a greater love, which is divine
love. Marriage as a Christian
Sacrament draws on the theology of the covenant relationship between God and Israel, and
Christ and the Church.
Redefinition of marriage to
incorporate other combinations (same sex and other types of coupling) is
therefore illegitimate and cannot be called “marriage” because marriage in its
original design (since time immemorial) has inscribed within it nuptial
fecundity which is only possible between male and female. Not fecundity outside
of the couple but as an encounter which forms one fruitful flesh. It is in marriage that human beings are most
like God (God self donates in love perpetually and is fruitfully)
creative. God blessed them and commanded
them also to be fruitful and multiply. (Gn 1-3) In the natural plane same sex
coupling and other coupling cannot be fruitful.
God designed one male and one female (Gn 1:27) so that they have natural
affinity. They have natural
complimentarity. She is a part of him and he is a part of her but they are
different. They fit together. They complete one another. What is lacking in male is brought to him by
the female. What is lacking in the female is brought to her by the male. (they
socialize and humanize one another). Together
they form the “one flesh” which in due course is open to “one flesh” plus one
new one, child fruit of marriage between one man and one woman, freely entered
into and for the duration of life.